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Have you ever felt like life is happening to you rather than you happening to life?

We’ve all been there.

Caught up in the whirlwind of the day to day things, reacting to events as they unfold, and sometimes wondering if we are truly in control. But what if I told you that you hold the power to shift the narrative, to take the reins and lead a more proactive, intentional life?

In this blog post, we’re delving into the art of changing focus and how to be more proactive and less reactive in every aspect of your life.

From understanding the key differences between proactive and reactive behaviour to unlocking the secrets of a proactive mindset, we’re breaking it all down. You’ll gain insights into the crucial role mindset plays in this shift and discover five actionable steps to kickstart your journey towards feeling more confident with more direction and as though you are in control.

Understanding Proactive vs. Reactive Behaviour

Proactive Behaviour: Taking Charge

Being proactive is all about taking the initiative, anticipating the bumps in the road, and actively shaping the outcomes in our lives. Think of it as being the one behind the wheel instead of just along for the ride. Having a proactive mindset means setting lasting goals, making thoughtful decisions. It not about NOT having to deal with the unexpected but about HOW you deal with the unexpected.

Instead of letting their conditions and circumstances be the driving force of their decisions, proactive people allow their values to determine the choices they make.

Now, on the flip side, reactive behaviour is all about dealing with things after they’ve already happened. It often leaves you feeling like you’re constantly putting out fires instead of preventing them. And trust me, this reactive approach can seriously impact your life, affecting your confidence, leaving you feeling anxious and overall satisfaction with life.

The Impact on Mindset and Confidence

Our mindset, how we see the world, is crucial in determining if we’re leaning towards being proactive or reactive. Having a strong mindset, one that’s balanced and believes you are capable is the key to proactive behaviour.

On the flip side, a negative mindset can fuel reactive tendencies, making you feel a bit powerless in the face of things.

Now, the word “mindset” becomes particularly relevant here because developing a proactive mindset is the foundation for changing your focus. By consciously cultivating a positive and forward-thinking mindset, you can build the confidence needed to navigate life’s twists and turns more effectively.

The Role of Mindset in Being Proactive

Defining Mindset

Let’s break down this mindset business. Your mindset is basically your collection of attitudes, beliefs, and assumptions that shape how you see things and guide your actions. Now, when it comes to being proactive, having a growth mindset is the name of the game.

A growth mindset, as psychologist Carol Dweck puts it, is believing that your abilities and intelligence can grow with hard work and dedication. Adopting a growth mindset is a game-changer for being proactive. It makes you more willing to learn, adapt, and take on challenges. Every stumble becomes a chance to grow, and failures? Well, they’re just stepping stones on your way to success.

And here’s where the keyword “mindset” really kicks in. By embracing a growth mindset, you’re breaking free from the limits of a fixed mindset, empowering yourself to tackle life with curiosity, and resilience.

I am willing to put money on you having a copy of Stephen Covey’s ‘The 7 habits of highly effective people’ on your book shelf or at least being aware of it. Covey, places being proactive as being integral to being successful in work and life as a whole.

Covey writes that proactive people are still influenced by their environment, but they choose their response to these stimuli. On the other hand, reactive people do not have a choice since there will always be something outside that affects them.

5 Steps to Be More Proactive

Step 1: Self-awareness – Getting to Know Yourself

First things first, let’s get self-aware. Recognising those reactive patterns and figuring out what triggers them is your foundation for change. And yes, you guessed it, the keyword “mindset” is in the spotlight here because you’re going to need to assess and adjust your mindset to get on that proactive train. With this self awareness, If you haven’t done it yet, define what’s the most important for you in life.

Step 2: Goal Setting – Plotting Your Course

Setting goals is like charting your own course in the vast sea of life. And where does mindset fit in? Well, you’ve got to adopt a forward-thinking mindset to define those goals. Whether they’re short-term or long-term, goals act as your guide, steering you away from reactive tendencies.

Step 3: watch how you are talking to yourself

This is something we tend to forget about. How we talk to ourselves matters. Why? Because our subconscious mind is always listening. How you speak guides how you see the world. If most of your language is reactive, you’re likely going be more reactive. If it’s proactive, you’ll be more proactive.

Some reactive phrases to look out for:

  • There’s nothing I can do.
  • That’s just the way I am.
  • They won’t allow that.
  • I have to do that.
  • I can’t.
  • I must.
  • If only.

Whenever you catch yourself using one of these reactive phrases, replace it with a proactive one:

  • Let’s look at our alternatives.
  • I can choose a different approach.
  • I control how I respond to this.
  • I choose.
  • I prefer.
  • I will.

Step 4: where is your focus going?

The circle of influence and the circle of concern are concepts from Stephen Covey’s time management theory. The circle of concern includes things we care about but have little or no control over, while the circle of influence consists of things we can actively impact.


Proactive individuals strategically focus on their Circle of Influence, directing energy towards factors they can control, such as choices and attitudes. By actively expanding this circle, they foster personal growth and effectiveness. In contrast, reactive people concentrate on their Circle of Concern, reacting to external factors without addressing root causes. This approach diminishes their sense of control and increases stress. Covey’s philosophy encourages a proactive mindset, advocating for the concentration of efforts on the controllable aspects of life.

Step 5: Seeking Guidance and Coaching

No journey toward proactivity is complete without a bit of guidance. Hooking up with a mindset coach can give you some solid strategies for keeping that proactive mindset in check but also provide you with a differing opinion that isn’t emotionally involved who can help you see through the fog that we often find ourselves lost in within these situations.

As you embrace a proactive mindset and weave proactive habits into your daily routine, confidence naturally comes knocking on your door. Being proactive equips you with the tools to overcome challenges and build resilience. Instead of reacting to setbacks, you start seeing challenges as chances to learn and grow.

In the journey from reactive to proactive living, we’ve explored the nuances of mindset, the impact on behaviour, and actionable steps to transform your approach. By recognising patterns, setting meaningful goals, and cultivating a proactive mindset, you’re now armed to navigate life’s twists with confidence. This isn’t just a read; it’s your roadmap for intentional living.

How are you planning to embrace proactivity in your life? Share your thoughts in the comments below. Your insights might just be the spark someone else needs on their path to a more proactive and fulfilling existence.